Three Rules That I Follow In Pursuit Of Self-Love

A Short And Sweet Reflection On Loving Yourself

And Ways To Overcome Accidental Self-Sabotage

An alternate version of this article was initially published on Alejandra’s blog “Running a Lyfe” (find a link to her website here).

Truly living an unapologetic life is challenging for some people, and I am realizing that I might be one of them.

It has been so hard to really attend to myself before others. The experiences that I have lived have mostly focused on pleasing and easing those around me.

Even when I am engaging with people that I may not necessarily care a lot about, I enjoy making those around me feel comfortable and happy.

However, I am realizing: bringing happiness to others should not be something that is done at the cost of my own happiness. This is a theme that has slowly dawned on me.

If your cup isn’t at its fullest– if you don’t have enough water– then how on Earth do you expect to help fill other people’s cups?

I have been practicing the art of self-development by truly being there for myself. There is an unspoken empowerment that comes from truly loving yourself, and it does transform your confidence. The intuitive part of your soul is comprised of more than just learned behavior following its conditioned patterns; it’s also the enigma of the spirit that leads us to our true purpose.

It isn’t always easy to remember this in practice, though.

Three Rules That I Keep In Mind To Help Me Help Myself

These are some of the ways that I have navigated through the issues of self-sabotage that sometimes threaten my self-care in order to strengthen how and the extent to which I show myself self-love:

1. Check on myself first.

With this comes learning to say NO, and by that I mean turning to my heart to assess what it is that I need to do or be before turning back to serve a world that is constantly calling for my attention. For me, this can be as easy as not looking at my phone until I have re-centered myself through my workouts or writings.

After giving myself the attention that I need, I can focus on others completely without my personal inquietudes getting in the way.

2. Process my emotions before speaking or acting.

I have always been impatient and eager to jump right into things without waiting. Slowing down and assessing the emotional information that I have absorbed during the day before reacting or speaking out truly opens my mind and spirit to a place of inner peace that ultimately frees me.

While this is perhaps one of the most trying challenges that I am still working on mastering, it is crucial to overcoming my detrimental habits and evolving into the best version of myself possible (for both me and for the world).

3. Look ahead when the past pops into my mind in a negative way.

This is a tricky one, because it’s all about finding that perfect balance between living in the moment and propelling myself towards my dreams and goals. I’m learning that what is ahead of me is entirely up to me, yet I am aware of how easy it is to get stuck in the stagnant past.

By simply looking ahead whenever those negative projections of the past arise, my path seems easier to follow. Be it through career, passion projects, or family, my recommendation is to do whatever you have to do to remind yourself of what lies ahead of you, as well as to do whatever you have to do to stay in touch with the intuitive gut instincts that serve to help you understand your life’s purpose and direction.

The key to loving and serving others is to make efforts to love and serve yourself first.

As you journey forward and chart the path of becoming the best you that you can be, I hope that these reminders help you find some clarity and inspiration. Please comment with any of your thoughts, experiences, or stories below!

With Love,

Alejandra Lee

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